The Professional Lap Cat

I've been squeamish about horror movies since I was little - I never grew out of it. This is despite my healthy imagination, ability to point to reality and not reality and my appreciation for good story and dark fantasy (probably other things, but that kind of list is boring). I've had it in my head that it was actually frightening, that what I was experiencing was fear.

It's not - not even close.

I'm squeamish from distress. It upsets me to consider that someone could do that (whatever 'that' is at any given point) to someone...

Some things it's easier for me to talk myself down from the experience of horror and upset. Other things I just don't deal with well - and gore movies are definitely one of them. I can even deal with true thrillers better than I can gore films...

I feel a little liberated in this realisation... it always bothered me to be scared of something that I knew very well wasn't real. It doesn't bother me in the slightest to be upset or distressed by the kind of suffering and torture, mind games and fucked up things that horror films glorify in.

I don't begrudge the genre - I certainly believe that fictional spaces are far better for the exploration of these kind of things than the real world.

But I don't need to 'overcome this' now. There's no fear to face... just a knowningness that I am not the target for the story and that there are other things out there for me to enjoy.

I feel my explanation is a little ambiguous... like I'm circling but not really nailing a point. What do others think - is anyone else out there in the same boat as me?

1. What did you do in 2009 that you'd never done before?
Be present to the birth of a new human being.

2. Did you keep your New Year's resolutions, and will you make one this year?
I've taken to looking at a central concept that I want the year to be about... 2009 was exploration and expression. Not sure what 2010 is about yet :)

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
Yes! A few people actually - and one I got to be part of the birth experience :)

4. Did anyone close to you die?
Thankfully no.

5. What countries did you visit?
None, but I did do a lot of travel interstate :)

6. What would you like to have in 2010 that you lacked in 2009?
More snogging! Also, more money :)

7. What date from 2009 will remain etched upon your memory?
August 23rd

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
Being a support person for one of my closest friends giving birth


9. What was your biggest failure?
Femmeconne didn't happen, which I'm disappointed about.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
I had many tension headaches, which have reduced significantly since I left Prem and Cab, also my feet still hate me a lot.

11. What was the best thing you bought?
Tickets to Melbourne and Brisbane. Tickets to see Amanda Palmer. Awesome tea and teapots. My new phone.

12. Whose behaviour merited celebration?
Kaneda, Daniel, Cameron, Mum

13. Whose behaviour made you appalled and depressed?
No comment.

14. Where did most of your money go?
Mortgage. Flights. Bills

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
Swancon! Going to Brisbane to help welcome the new baby! Uni! Going to Melbourne and Bendigo.

16. What song will always remind you of 2009?
"I'm Yours" - Jason Mraz

17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
i. Happier or Sadder?
About the same - which is to say worlds apart experiencially but absolutely happy

ii. Thinner or fatter?
About the same - I did loose some weight this year, but believe I've put it back on over the holiday period.

iii. Richer or poorer?
Poorer! But wiser and happier.

18. What do you wish you'd done more of?
Hang out and get to know people.

19. What do you wish you'd done less of?
Working for the government.

20. How did you spend Christmas?
Woke up and got picked up by prk and amarillion for Christmas Lunch - a tradition and one that I dearly love.

21. How did you spend New Year?
Partied at the House of Books and Ducks, then on to mossiah's NYE party :)

22. Did you fall in love in 2009?
Almost daily :)

23. How many one-night stands?
None of the traditional kind, but a few one off lovely experiences.

24. What was your favourite TV program?
White Collar

25. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?
No.

26. What was the best book you read?
MythOS - Kelly McCullough
Zoe's Tale - John Scalzi

27. What was your greatest musical discovery?
Regina Spektor

28. What did you want and get?
Trips to Melbourne
To have adventures
To travel
Trip to Brisbane to help welcome a baby into the world.
To spend loving intimate time with special people
Cam moving in with us

29. What did you want and not get?
A new relationship here in Perth (though 2010 may have taken care of this already, we shall see)

30. What was your favourite film of this year?
Star Trek

31. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
I turned 29 and spent the day in the Swan Valley with Kallen, then a picnic with friends in Ellenbrook watching Othello :)

32.What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
A teleporter.

33. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2009?
Same same.

34. What kept you sane?
K and my amazing, dear and wonderful friends.

35. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
Tilda Swinton

36. What political issue stirred you the most?
No one thing, but generally disappointed.

37. Who did you miss?
Too many people to list!

38. Who was the best new person you met?
Ewen, Robin and alexmoon

39. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2009:
That my life is my own, I am the source of it and no one, and nothing else is.

40. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year.
"You are my sweetest downfall"

Five personally significant events of 2009:

- The ending of the 'official relationship' with e_dan. I fell in love with him again, and we were both beautiful to eachother. Now we just get to be awesome at one another and enjoy the closeness without it needing to look like someething.
- Being there for the birth of babalon_93's second baby, and living it up Brisbane style for a few weeks.
- Getting a job in the non profit sector for the first time ever.
- Realisation that one of my background conversations is about keeping myself small, and putting a lot of work into learning to let that go - still in progress.
- Going on a date with a lovely man from Brisbane and falling for him :)

Five things I want to do in 2010:

- Enjoy my relationships to the fullest
- Meet new people and get to know friends better.
- Continue doing really well at Uni
- Cook for friends
- Continue my affair with Fremantle :)

Five people I'd like to know better in 2010:
There are quite a few - too many to list, and I will inevitably miss someone :P

Dear Flist...

I'm looking for series of 5 charities or causes to donate money to as part of my self wedding project extravaganza.

Since there's no one charity that could be represented by what I'm doing inside of this event, I figure I can cover it off through 5 if I play it right. The idea is that I can better promote and talk about what I'm doing if I can also point to the charities. I plan on donating a portion of the fees to these charities based on maths I will ask someone knowledgeable about. (Offers to provide awesome maths for me are very welcome!)

I'm after suggestions if you have them on charities worth consideration...

An idea of what I'm trying to do is:

* Promote self care and nurturing as an individual's responsibility
* Promote self esteem and confidence
* Promote emotional intelligence
* Promote connection to people and communication
* Promote well being
* Promote celebration of self
* Promote equality

I have thoughts around something around marriage equality, and perhaps beyond blue - though that's almost clearly off the mark, though simultaneously almost close (this is weirding me out :P)

I've also started work on a website, and need to be contacting people who've already done the self wedding thing asking them to contribute content for me to get the website happening with :) Perth is going to be the first event (I have a whole team in Perth - note those of you on it, I'll be emailing you around the weekend. I'm still looking for people to be part of teams interstate - any state is up for grabs at present! :)

I stumbled upon 'Sukin Australian Natural Skincare' this evening.

I'm in love.

In dot points why:

* Australian
* organic and vegan
* carbon neutral
* ethical
* smells *amazing*
* feels great on my skin
* inexpensive

This may give Lush a run for it's money as my preferred skin care... if only because it smells amazing and is significantly cheaper than Lush.

Website: http://sukinorganics.com.au/

Dear cheshirenoir, callistra and lauredhel, Thank you for your support and hand holding in wrestling with carnival stuffs. I know it should have been easier. It wasn't. Without you three, I'd still be tearing my hair out. Thank you.

I am however, still awake. Wide awake. I am *SO* excited about starting my new job tomorrow - I mean, even though it's handover and training, and the real thing won't start till January.... I'm *so* excited!!!

Also, this organisation is the kind of awesome, where the woman who hired me specifically made sure to invite me to their end of year Christmas lunch... I'm bowled over... really I am quite moved by the idea of working with a team of people who strongly advocate communication with one another, who work hard at making a difference for people getting to live their lives powerfully and with love and intimacy, and who just seem to care about people in general...

I don't think I've ever felt so elated about a job before... I can't remember such in any case. Dear people who get to do what you love - is this what it's like for you, and does it ever end?

I also finished a seminar series tonight, and it was awesome. Really just enjoying that I got to meet some amazing people, get to know them and share in what they got out of doing the work alongside me. I know that it made a huge difference to me and what I found for myself... I hope that my experiences contributed to theirs.

I'm mostly aware that wherever I am, is love. It's part of who I am intrinsically - and not for myself (though I'm always thankful for my own abundance in this area), but for others. If I could bottle the way I experience love daily, I would... instead I'll just try and make it visible in the world, and possible, and not sappy and 'Hallmark' like.

I'm doing a project in this area actually... and I'm so excited about it! If I do things right, it has the potential to be huge, and I'm so hopeful, so nervous and yet absolutely committed to doing the best I can.

My project is: "Dear Self: I Do." ( more about project below )

Okay, on that note, hopefully after letting all of that stuff out that I've not taken time to think about, or type about - just mainly bubble with excitement and happiness - I'm going to try this sleep thing.

It's really a wonder... thanks to so many of you on my flist, am I able to even think of doing these things... once upon a time this would never have been possible. Some of you remember that time - others met me later. You've all made a difference and I'm grateful :) Here's to the sharing of awesomeness!

Tips and tricks welcome :)

Songbird media player - hoping to have this replace window's media player for me, but need to tweak it more. Especially after hints with this one.


Last FM - just joined under transcendancing :) I'm slowly figuring it out and seeing how it all works - expect it will be much more exciting when i can subscribe to it - at least that seems to be one of the main points...?

What made me happy yesterday...

* Perth Poly meet, with new people that I introduced to the group (but Perth being Perth a couple of people knew each other from other circles! :P)

* Having the freedom to allow myself to be pounced by random naps.

* A very cuddly woofer that I'm puppy sitting :)



What made me happy today:

* Yahava's 'Ice Koffee' syrup

* In interviewing a couple of friends about how I come across in certain ways to them, finding out that largely what I intend is what people get from me. I also am grateful for their trust, candour and honesty.

* Unexpectedly seeing madradish at Perth train station - it's been forever! :)

* chatting with MS before bed

* Getting under 500 unread posts on google reader

* good pain killers, opportunities for extra sleep, quietness and darkness to defeat unexpected migraine/tension headache

Recently, I saw how some feminist spaces marginalise trans women, making them ‘other’ and denying them their lived in experience as women. I saw how fanaticism of a sort can marginalise our allies, and by this I mean, make them invisible. In a society where it’s so difficult to point to what’s going on underneath the surface – so much of what feminism tries to point to is so invisible, it saddens me that we can also make our allies appear invisible as well. We are all allies, all of us. I don’t see myself as being part of a group that has allies. I see that we are all allies, working toward a society that allows us all to be the people we are, to the best of our ability and free from suppression.

My thoughts were provoked in this area when I went looking to meet some new people, see what this feminist collective had on offer. What I found was that I joined a feminist group which has, at the heart of it, the fight against men's oppression. I don’t for a second want to suggest that there isn’t oppression going on – but I find it stems less from individual men, and more from patriarchy. None of the men I know want anything less than equality, the murky area is in what that looks like – the way society and culture mask this.

I’m not interested in spending my time fighting men’s oppression. For me, that occurs as looking at a single ingredient, and forgetting the recipe that’s the bigger picture. I'm much more interested in taking on society. I want the men in my life to be part of that (I love having you all stand beside me), actually I want everyone to be part of that – it is *our* society after all. I certainly don't want to live inside a bubble that says only women who were assigned female at birth can be feminists. I’m not willing to be part of a space that says trans women can't be feminists because some would like to argue that they lack the supposedly universal experience of being female growing up.

The group argued that trans women were essentially men, and that this trans woman (a new member like me) had joined in order to subvert the agenda of the group. In their minds, there was no way she could have experienced sexism and oppression the way they had, and simply by her being there she was oppressing them. I’m still dumbfounded by this.

There's no possibility for a future of people living and respecting one another openly inside of those visions. I’m interested in feminism that grows people, not diminishes them, and I’m not interested in fighting futile battles about how you define a ‘real’ woman that aren't worth the time to type them.

I'm privileged to be part of an awesome socially conscious, diverse and woman-friendly space, where individuals and their views on life are appreciated and valued - even inside of disagreements and the inevitable making of mistakes. I love that my social and online space welcomes people - and when it doesn't that it's prepared to be called out on it, and discuss it. I really value that. I always have - but I value it so much more after an experience I had this week where I was confronted with a space that really wasn't safe.

When I joined this group, a women's space (I'll talk about wider spaces later), I joined thinking that I may meet some new and interesting feminists and see what others are doing and saying. I wanted to see what actions and projects were under way that I could be involved in and learn about - take my activism out from my own backyard so to speak, learning to operate on a more community level. Well, I did get to see what they were saying. It wasn't pretty.

The group is pretty disorganised for taking in new members for a start. There were no means to easily find out what the deal is and start to be involved. No introduction, and often the emails talking about the events or the meetings referred to them just as such without providing details for new members. Kindly one of the women who introduced me to the group (recommended it to me in fact) gave me a brief run down - and in doing so inadvertently misspoke calling it a 'women born women' space.

That's about when it started getting messy.

First came the cries of 'that's not true' followed directly by 'who here is trans and hasn't disclosed that?' and also followed directly by 'please let's not get divided on this, it wastes so much time and energy and we were hoping it just wouldn't come up'. The next comments were from a separatist who was dead against 'men joining the group' and didn't believe that transgenderism existed. It was polite, but hateful.

Feel free to take a moment here to find breathing again. I had to.

It was pretty awful from there. Several hateful emails, one of the other new members who is a trans woman spoke up and was articulate and addressed concerns and didn't react to the hatefulness. I spoke up and called the group out on their offensiveness. The group decided to discuss it at the next meeting - the following day which neither of us were able to attend, not having received information about it until that week. Honestly even if we'd been able to, I wouldn't have wanted to walk into as threatening a situation as it promised to be.

The result of the meeting was to require all members to have returned a form (that we hadn't yet been sent) as on several occasions confidential information about the group had been publicly leaked and members attacked for their views. They hoped we understood this and that we'd need to return the form to be considered as members. Given an existing 'fully fledged' group member didn't feel comfortable with 'men' joining the group I imagine that the new member who'd mentioned being a trans woman wouldn't have been welcome.

Basically at this point the two of us decided that we'd had enough and that we'd prefer to leave. We had tried to address the issue without being disruptive or demanding, were accused of doing just that and the issues we'd raised were dismissed as us making trouble.

So, what did I learn about my experience of descending into hatefulness?

• Feminism is about taking on patriarchy, not making people bad and wrong.
• It's about looking at sexism and associated issues
• It's for the benefit of all people, not just women
• It isn't just ‘women born women’ who are feminists (and seriously if I never use those two words in conjunction with each other again it will be too soon).
• Trans women are women. They’re not ‘other’, they’re people like the rest of us.
• I’m fighting against being micro-scrutinised about my gender – why would I want to subject someone else to the same diminishing experience?
• People who don’t identify as women and who are feminists have awesome and valuable points of view on the issues considered inside of feminism.
• Let me reiterate, they are feminists.
• I don't see any valid argument for a space of women born women.
• I see a strong argument for a space that isn't gender biased at all.
• I still appreciate spaces that are claimed for women - however they come to that identity and feel they're important but not the be all and end all.

What this group was doing, is not okay with me. I don't want people to feel that their experiences of being a feminist aren't valid - they are. Part of that validity is being open to discussion on and consideration of the world and things that come up. We are all allies working toward a society that lifts us up, not pushes us down. My experience of this group is one that made an articulate and insightful woman invisible – simply because she wasn’t assigned female at birth.

This experience reiterates for me the way many issues of rights and discrimination and infringement upon them seem to tie into one another. At heart my activism is about every human being having value and respect as a fellow human being in society. I want all people to be people, that they get to be their own person living up to their full potential while not being stomped on or squashed by others.

Greetings all!!!

This is your last reminder about getting your posts into the carnival for December!! Please get your submissions in by December 2nd, if you're trying to get something in, please tell me and I'll try and make something work time wise.

Please submit via blog carnival, though if you're having issues with it please email it to me: transcendancing at gmail dot com.

The optional theme for this month is: Invisible sexism – The Elephant in the Room

Other useful information from the Down Under Feminists Carnival page, over at Hoyden About Town:

This monthly carnival, with submissions hosted at blogcarnival.com, is open to all feminist bloggers in Australia and New Zealand. Showcase your own posts or those of others.

Submissions of all types are welcome: long thinky pieces, quick hits, images, vlogs, whatever you’re writing. However, images, podcasts, and vlogs should be accessible to all users, with descriptions and/or transcripts provided.

All flavours of feminism are welcome; however, the host has the final say on what they wish to publish. New bloggers and established bloggers are all welcome – participating in a carnival is a great way to join in the community. Formed ideas and unformed ones are all fine. All posts must be from Australian or New Zealander bloggers, and must be feminism-related (including intersectionality) and/or on feminist blogs. Submit your own posts, and those of others. Please don’t be shy – submit, submit, submit.

I have warranty, and insurance that says if something's wrong you'll come fix it! At my house even.

Where the fuck is the number to contact about this?

Why does your tech support line go only till 5pm EST?

Why with my fan not working can I not get someone on the phone to figure out how I go about getting it fixed?


No love,

Me.


P.S. Your sales support person on the phone at Carousel was awesome btw.

Today I'm attending White Ribbon Day events, Kings Park this afternoon, UWA this evening then home the long meandering way I expect :) An email list discussion has me upset, has been a long time since I came up against the 'women born women' argument. Unhappy and trying to think how to respond.

The result is most likely to be me choosing to leave the group rather than continue to participate (joined only recently anyway), as I don't think this is the best use of my time and energy. People get to be people. My vision of equality is one of humanity, of all genders and all people experiencing love and respect as human beings.

I don't want to be part of a feminist space that thinks trans women don't have to deal with any of the same issues of sexism or otherism and everything else as the rest of us. I don't want to be part of a space that judges the value of 'real' women. That's *not* okay with me.

Wow, unsurprisingly posting about this has cleared my head.

As for the events I'm attending:

Please join us in a memorial to commemorate Susan Ann Taylor
(dec.1996) and all the children and young people she has come to
represent. Amnesty International, Angelhands and Yorgum
Aboriginal Corp are holding this event on the United Nations Day for
the elimination of Violence Against Women (UNIDEVAW). Confirmed
speakers are Associate Professor Ted Wilkes, Cheryl Edwards, Chair of
the Victims’ of Crime Reference Group and Helen Milroy, with Welcome
to Country provided by Ben Taylor Curemara. The commemoration
seeks to raise further awareness and increased commitment to
addressing sexual violence and abuse perpetrated against young
Aboriginal people. Time: 2pm-3pm. Venue: Wildflower Pavilion, Kings Park. Light
refreshments provided.

And tonight:

Young UNIFEM Perth will be holding a white ribbon day cocktail
party where the 20 minute documentary “Yajilara” will be screened.
The event will be hosted by Ben Wyatt the Shadow Treasurer and
White Ribbon Ambassador. Light refreshments will be served.
Time: 6.30pm Venue: Sunken Gardens at University of WA. For
information and ticket prices contact Beth Shaw 0402 853 852


Also, I'm deeply appreciative of the 'My Oath' campaign being run by the White Ribbon Day Organisation.

http://www.myoath.com.au/

I ask all the amazing and wonderful men in my life to take this oath and spread this around. The simple act of saying it's not okay, of sharing that changes the culture in which this all happens. Your voices, your oaths make a real difference in the world and I invite you to take part in that. Feel free to call me if you'd like more info/understanding on how doing something like this makes a difference. 0439 354 992.

Got picked up early by maharetr to go to the movies and see 'New Moon' which I enjoyed heaps, and was lovely just hanging out together, just the two of us.

Headed off to King's Park for the Swancon BBQ which was great, beautifully catered by linstar, awesome company and some great conversations as well as baby cuddles :)

Then headed off to the Slash gathering and chatted all afternoon, we all watched the pilot of 'White Collar' which I'm enjoying immensely and was pleased to have pimped to the group - consensus is 'endearing' which is utterly true :)

Yummy food, yummy cake and my Slashy Birthday present which was awesome and *so* thoughtful :)

*appreciation*


So tired now. Relaxing, then sleep.

Tomorrow, Centrelink wrangling is the goal of the day (and at least 1 other day that week).

I have finished my exams for 2009!

Also, there is a significant likelihood of a High Distinction in 'Introduction to Public Relations' which I'm thrilled about. Especially since most of the knowledge came from textbook supplemented by reading I've already done out of interest, things I've already done in the arena and other such things. People, I seem to have a natural knack/instinct for PR. Now to combine this with my Cultural Studies Powers of Win!

Very much looking forward to getting on with my many 'Summer' projects :)

- WASFF values statement (offers of assistance welcome)
- SELP community project - Self Wedding Series across Australia :)
- Reading for pleasure
- Overnight and multi-night adventures depending on who is interested in taking a mini (CHEAP) trip with me
- learning to have fun, be playful, not serious, not always do the 'right' thing
- try new things as they occur as opportunities
- spend time with *awesome* people.

I'm in love with the world, and in love with the people in my life. All of you.

...disappointment sneaks up on you.

From Gay in WA blog:

http://gayinwa.com.au/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=35:pride-parade-survey-results-and-discussion-paper&catid=3:daniel-smith&Itemid=1

Following the near financial collapse of Pride WA at the end of 2007, successive Pride Committees have returned the organisation to a financially viable position. The Committees have taken decisions that have seen Fairday continue to grow and the Pride Party regain its popularity, with both events outsourced to private sector operators to remove financial risk and return a profit to Pride.
The above achievements indicate that Pride has been well managed by successive Committees over the last two years.
Independent of the strong event and management achievements of successive Committees over the last two years, it has been observed that both Pride Parade participation and spectator numbers have declined during this time and that this decline has continued a decline that has been occurring for a number of years.

Learning about Hiroshima and the concept of violence - on a mass authorised scale I believe rather than other kinds. I'm just devastated inside. I hurt so much, and I'm so upset over this. I don't understand at all. I just don't.

The week has been crazy and I've swung between feeling in control, full of life and knowing that I'm doing all the right things for bringing a wonderful future into the now. And other times I've just been clinging to the skin of 'I know it gets better than this'.

This morning was very much the latter, left my keys at home and poor buoy_wonder had to come and let me in, I messed up part of the cash up from the night before and had to redo it, then redo the float county thing, then the bank ran out of $5 and $10 notes and I had to convince another bank to give them to me, I found out that the payments I've made this year against my default have been going to the wrong account thanks to inadvertent human error, and one of my final assignments somehow got substituted for an earlier version which got marked as 'not passing'. So, not great :P

The wins of the day were: Great coffee from JK's where my barista Dave continues to make with the awesome coffee! Toasted ham and cheese sandwich! Sold quite a lot of books! No more boxes of books arrived, thus books actually managed to find shelf space with some creativity. K was in the city and gave me his key to get in home rather than me being forlornly hoping it somehow would all work out. I did well in my job interview. A friend made a comment that pinged me pretty badly, but was incredible in owning it and seeing the impact and moving forward (seriously awesome and wonderful and validating!), Google Wave shenanigans! Wonderful time spent tonight conversing with a dear friend who kindly helped me drink a great bottle of Rose, learning about physics and economics and continuing our ongoing conversation about social justice, communication and human relatedness. Tentative plans for adventuring away for a night, just to get away and recharge, with all the work my friend has upcoming between now and January. I have found acceptance in however Monday's exam will go. I'm not prepared, no idea how I can be and really at this point... all I can do is my best and hope.

So. Clearly the good outweighs the bad.

Let me expand on a couple of things...

Google Wave reminds me in a few ways of all the best bits about when I used to chat on MIRC, in the sense of being able to connect with so many people, with no apparent or immediate connection save the technology and whatever information we choose to engage with - thankfully we seem to have moved on from the 'ASL?' question :P I'm loving the scope of this and can see so much potential inside of it as it grows from a baby technology to something truly spectacular - I'm going to love all the playing and testing I can do (especially after next week).

Tonight I had the best explanation for physics *ever* in how it's a bit like a fairytale, which has no need to consider truth, only usefulness. And that usefulness can be measured in such a way as in throwing an object, and that the object is subject to a *magical force* that we decide to call gravity, or that the lemon is not subject to force in the air at all, and thus is going in a straight line, which appears to us as curved cos there's this crazy idea that time and space might be bent. I love how the quantum bits make sense to me moreso than the other bits.

And now, I am going to go to bed at a reasonable hour, and spent the weekend studying (except for an engagement party I'm going to for a little while).

Will have more interesting things to say after my last exam Friday, till then it's probably going to be more of the same :)

They shall grow not old, as we that are left grow old:
Age shall not weary them, nor the years condemn.
At the going down of the sun and in the morning,
We will remember them

Lest We Forget

Greetings all,

Just a quick message to mention that I'll be collating the December Down Under Feminists' Carnival and I'm looking forward to reading all your submissions!!

Here's what you need to know:

Optional theme: Invisible sexism – The Elephant in the Room.

Submissions to transcendancing at gmail dot com for those who can’t access blogcarnival.

Information about the carnival is available at Hoyden About Town here.

The carnival is open to submission from anyone blogging from the Australian New Zealand region and I'm looking forward to meeting some of you who I've only been reading for a while!

I love carnival time - it's so exciting! I shall have to get my socks together so that I can put my own post together for submission (oh exams why do you take up so much of my life).

December 5th the Carnival launches - you have till November 30th to submit (but email me before the 5th if you have something and won't make the deadline).

leastconcern
Hi! I am looking for a few titles for a research project I am doing. It's about the comparison/contrast of the Deaf and Queer (focus on Trans/Intersex) cultures. I would like to just borrow for the book no longer than a month, I promise not to highlight in it or dogear. I take good care of books, and will promptly return them no less than a month. If you have a title (or any that fit under this theme), please comment and we can get in touch via private message to discuss semantics :) I have plenty of deaf (written by deaf authors, sans Harlan Lane) books, just not a lot of queer ones (ironically...) Our libraries (and I searched them all through the SAILS network, including college libraries) do not have these titles, so suggestions of looking for the library are unhelpful!

No Pity: People With Disabilities Forging a New Civil Rights Movement by Joseph P. Shapiro

Fear Of A Queer Planet: Queer Politics and Social Theory by Michael Warner

Intersex and Identity: The Contested Self by Sharon E. Preves

Transgender Rights by Paisley Currah

Enforcing Normalcy: Disability, Deafness, and the Body by Lennard J. Davis

Transgender History by Susan Stryker

Just Add Hormones: An Insider's Guide to the Transsexual Experience by Matt Kailey

Transmen and FTMs: Identities, Bodies, Genders, and Sexualities by Jason Cromwell

In a Queer Time and Place: Transgender Bodies, Subcultural Lives by Judith Halberstam

Sexing the Body: Gender Politics and the Construction of Sexuality by Anne Fausto-Sterling

No Pity : People with Disabilities Forging a New Civil Rights Movement by Joseph P. Shapiro

Imagining Transgender: An Ethnography of a Category by David Valentine

The Transgender Child: A Handbook for Families and Professionals by Stephanie A. Brill

Cry Havoc is one of the best pieces of theatre I've ever seen. It's my favourite tied with 'The Oresteia' which I saw last year, also at The Blue Room.

The play is Julius Ceasar x West Wing plus much Grant Watson insight and brilliance. Particularly of note is the monologue in the second half - absolutely captivating.

The performances in this play are truly outstanding. Going to see this performance is worth cancelling things for. I cannot recommend it highly enough.

This is coming up so quickly now!! Wow!! I'm still hoping that I might be able to get there for an afternoon or something if I am a good student between now and then!

The weekend is relaxed and friendly with a little bit of something for everyone. There are facilitated discussions looking at topics that are meaningful to people at the moment. The program of discussions is here:

http://spreadsheets.google.com/pub?key=thr6HMl4wKUdO5TTxaXrj0w&single=true&gid=1&output=html

Other things going on include games like Bocce, Art, Craft not to mention the Library will be there as usual inviting you to curl up with a cup of something in the sunshine and read :)

We are going to Bickley Brook campsite in Orange Grove, as per previous femmeconnes. It is a pleasant spot with bush and dormitory accomodation. Their website is at:

http://www.dsr.wa.gov.au/index.php?id=352

Summary Details:

Friday Nov 13 - Sunday Nov 15
Start time: 4pm Friday
End time: 3pm Sunday
Where: Bickley Brook - Orange Grove
Cost: $80 for the weekend including accommodation or $35 per day pass.

Cost includes tea, coffee, hot chocolate and milks as well as fruit for snacks. Other food is the responsibility of individuals.

I love that this weekend is so relaxing - I love spending time with people and getting to know them better where the atmosphere is relaxed. I love the discussions and have learned a lot over the past couple of years from them.

Lecture Analysis is done. I'll submit them tonight.


Between now and then I'm going to put them up here on my LJ in the hope that if there is anyone who has any suggestions for improvement/enhancement/clarity they feel invited to share them :)

I can't see the words properly any more, and I'm hopelessly over it. I am however very good at taking on edits and considering the feedback offered.

Plus, people may be interested in this stuff - imagined communities and autonomy, what's not to appreciate?

Especially welcomed at this point are means of shortening the pieces without losing detail or meaning by any significant degree.

They're individually a few pages so will post them individually behind cuts.

* My relationships in various amazing forms are a major source of how my happiness is expressed.

* Seeing MS in the flesh is always just as amazing as I imagine it, and hope for it to be. This woman takes my breath away - I wish that we could spend more time together, easier. However, I deeply value and appreciate the time spent, I like to think we make the most of it without applying terrible significance to such events.

* Understanding the material is pants if the means to communicate that is screwed up. Take one brand new unit, add one tutor who talks about formality of language in emails that use nothing of the sort. (Seriously, no spelling, sentence structure, grammar or punctuation at all). This does nothing to convey reasons for me to trust in their ability to mark my work.

* When I am around people like MS, black_samvara and callistra I am bigger and feel like I really can make a positive difference in the world.

* I really am enjoying selling books to people. Today's trend was parents buying Feist for their sons.

* Job hunting is worse than pants. I'm still looking. I still really don't want to work permanently or full time.

* Having MS in the same city reminds me how much I love a shared balance of time spent with Loves in the same city, I'm reminded of how much I value what I shared with e_dan, and still value the trust and closeness, however it looks at any given time.

* I love imagining into the future, where Big Brother is given away to *everyone*. I imagine something not unlike Julian May's vision of a galactic milieu, connected not through special mental abilities, but technology that looks almost within our grasp. I imagine people connecting to other people where the first impression is 'human!' rather than external judgements of colour, body, gender, dress etc. I imagine that people being connected in this way will create a shared intimacy and from this birth the context of valuable personhood.

In the connecting with other humans, sharing their stories and lives and suffering I imagine that certain realities we shrug off now - say homelessness, will become more personal and thus more unacceptable to us. I imagine that there will be less people who are ridiculously rich or poor. I imagine a world where we interact as humanity. This has broader implications, suggestions and possibilities, none of which I'm prepared to discuss right now, here on my blog. Ask me about it in person.

* The sense that I'm meant to be travelling away from Perth for a while gets stronger. I'm called to spend time with others, share lives and experiences and time with them. Explore myself. Explore Australia and its culture, consider the differences in the way people relate state to state. I don't want to wait for conventions in order to get to know and spend time with people - it's too much like 'someday' for my taste. I want to be close to, be connected to and involved with people not in Perth, therefore I will go wandering. This means that gradual plans are being made with my Eastern States Tour in mind, it's going to happen baby!

* I still really want to undertake training as a doula. I want to support, empower and care for families bringing their new babies into the world, helping to create a positive environment where everyone feels capable, vital and connected to the experience. I want to support environments where there is less fear, worry and trauma all around, where babys' introduction to the world is gentle and loving. This is part of several larger conversations.

* Feminism is twisty and turny and every specific conversation links to several others - it all feeds in and all bears consideration. The breadth and depth of it however is boggling and difficult to take in. The more I discover the more I boggle, the more I consider and discuss and research and experience the more I wonder, the stronger I feel and the more I hope in the face of adversity and invisibility. My faith is deeply rooted in the concept of anything being possible.

* I promised vulnerability to you all via this space, and I've been very true to that, although less so these past few weeks as I've had no idea what to write, and a sense of little time in which to write it. I didn't want you to see me struggling with feeling dense and stupid over assessment that should be simple and to the point and not at all stressful. I didn't want you to see me turn myself into little knots over seeing MS here in Perth, introducing her to the boys and to aspects of my life and who I am. I didn't want you to see my experiences of sadness, feeling misunderstood and invisible. I didn't want you to see my experiences of feeling lonely - surrounded by such amazing people, I didn't want anyone to think anything less than that they made an important and vital difference to my world... yet here I continue to seek more. This is the short version of the vulnerability I've hidden from you. I didn't actually mean to... I just don't really have the words... I've been sharing this much more in person of late.

Still a bundle of work to do on these, and much editing needed as well as one whole piece to write and edit tomorrow. I am so over these reports. I'd much rather be concentrating on my essay and exam prep. Bah. Time to wind down and sleep.