The Professional Lap Cat

Recently, I saw how some feminist spaces marginalise trans women, making them ‘other’ and denying them their lived in experience as women. I saw how fanaticism of a sort can marginalise our allies, and by this I mean, make them invisible. In a society where it’s so difficult to point to what’s going on underneath the surface – so much of what feminism tries to point to is so invisible, it saddens me that we can also make our allies appear invisible as well. We are all allies, all of us. I don’t see myself as being part of a group that has allies. I see that we are all allies, working toward a society that allows us all to be the people we are, to the best of our ability and free from suppression.

My thoughts were provoked in this area when I went looking to meet some new people, see what this feminist collective had on offer. What I found was that I joined a feminist group which has, at the heart of it, the fight against men's oppression. I don’t for a second want to suggest that there isn’t oppression going on – but I find it stems less from individual men, and more from patriarchy. None of the men I know want anything less than equality, the murky area is in what that looks like – the way society and culture mask this.

I’m not interested in spending my time fighting men’s oppression. For me, that occurs as looking at a single ingredient, and forgetting the recipe that’s the bigger picture. I'm much more interested in taking on society. I want the men in my life to be part of that (I love having you all stand beside me), actually I want everyone to be part of that – it is *our* society after all. I certainly don't want to live inside a bubble that says only women who were assigned female at birth can be feminists. I’m not willing to be part of a space that says trans women can't be feminists because some would like to argue that they lack the supposedly universal experience of being female growing up.

The group argued that trans women were essentially men, and that this trans woman (a new member like me) had joined in order to subvert the agenda of the group. In their minds, there was no way she could have experienced sexism and oppression the way they had, and simply by her being there she was oppressing them. I’m still dumbfounded by this.

There's no possibility for a future of people living and respecting one another openly inside of those visions. I’m interested in feminism that grows people, not diminishes them, and I’m not interested in fighting futile battles about how you define a ‘real’ woman that aren't worth the time to type them.

I'm privileged to be part of an awesome socially conscious, diverse and woman-friendly space, where individuals and their views on life are appreciated and valued - even inside of disagreements and the inevitable making of mistakes. I love that my social and online space welcomes people - and when it doesn't that it's prepared to be called out on it, and discuss it. I really value that. I always have - but I value it so much more after an experience I had this week where I was confronted with a space that really wasn't safe.

When I joined this group, a women's space (I'll talk about wider spaces later), I joined thinking that I may meet some new and interesting feminists and see what others are doing and saying. I wanted to see what actions and projects were under way that I could be involved in and learn about - take my activism out from my own backyard so to speak, learning to operate on a more community level. Well, I did get to see what they were saying. It wasn't pretty.

The group is pretty disorganised for taking in new members for a start. There were no means to easily find out what the deal is and start to be involved. No introduction, and often the emails talking about the events or the meetings referred to them just as such without providing details for new members. Kindly one of the women who introduced me to the group (recommended it to me in fact) gave me a brief run down - and in doing so inadvertently misspoke calling it a 'women born women' space.

That's about when it started getting messy.

First came the cries of 'that's not true' followed directly by 'who here is trans and hasn't disclosed that?' and also followed directly by 'please let's not get divided on this, it wastes so much time and energy and we were hoping it just wouldn't come up'. The next comments were from a separatist who was dead against 'men joining the group' and didn't believe that transgenderism existed. It was polite, but hateful.

Feel free to take a moment here to find breathing again. I had to.

It was pretty awful from there. Several hateful emails, one of the other new members who is a trans woman spoke up and was articulate and addressed concerns and didn't react to the hatefulness. I spoke up and called the group out on their offensiveness. The group decided to discuss it at the next meeting - the following day which neither of us were able to attend, not having received information about it until that week. Honestly even if we'd been able to, I wouldn't have wanted to walk into as threatening a situation as it promised to be.

The result of the meeting was to require all members to have returned a form (that we hadn't yet been sent) as on several occasions confidential information about the group had been publicly leaked and members attacked for their views. They hoped we understood this and that we'd need to return the form to be considered as members. Given an existing 'fully fledged' group member didn't feel comfortable with 'men' joining the group I imagine that the new member who'd mentioned being a trans woman wouldn't have been welcome.

Basically at this point the two of us decided that we'd had enough and that we'd prefer to leave. We had tried to address the issue without being disruptive or demanding, were accused of doing just that and the issues we'd raised were dismissed as us making trouble.

So, what did I learn about my experience of descending into hatefulness?

• Feminism is about taking on patriarchy, not making people bad and wrong.
• It's about looking at sexism and associated issues
• It's for the benefit of all people, not just women
• It isn't just ‘women born women’ who are feminists (and seriously if I never use those two words in conjunction with each other again it will be too soon).
• Trans women are women. They’re not ‘other’, they’re people like the rest of us.
• I’m fighting against being micro-scrutinised about my gender – why would I want to subject someone else to the same diminishing experience?
• People who don’t identify as women and who are feminists have awesome and valuable points of view on the issues considered inside of feminism.
• Let me reiterate, they are feminists.
• I don't see any valid argument for a space of women born women.
• I see a strong argument for a space that isn't gender biased at all.
• I still appreciate spaces that are claimed for women - however they come to that identity and feel they're important but not the be all and end all.

What this group was doing, is not okay with me. I don't want people to feel that their experiences of being a feminist aren't valid - they are. Part of that validity is being open to discussion on and consideration of the world and things that come up. We are all allies working toward a society that lifts us up, not pushes us down. My experience of this group is one that made an articulate and insightful woman invisible – simply because she wasn’t assigned female at birth.

This experience reiterates for me the way many issues of rights and discrimination and infringement upon them seem to tie into one another. At heart my activism is about every human being having value and respect as a fellow human being in society. I want all people to be people, that they get to be their own person living up to their full potential while not being stomped on or squashed by others.

[Poll #1459575]

I'm doing some reading at the moment on social contracts and in how people relate. My own experience of being at work is that I feel more comfortable being myself now having chosen consciously to do so, and not hide behind a polite conforming mask. However, prior to choosing this as a conscious course of action, I remember feeling distinctly unsafe being myself in a work situation amongst colleagues. I feel like at times where I acted in such a way that was openly 'me' that disapproval and social corrective cues were often applied in the form of disapproval, indicating (negative) otherness and gentle suggestions of what I 'should' do or try out.

I'm wondering how many others feel comfortable being themselves at work, don't or haven't felt a desire to conform to the group and their cues as to what is acceptable within that group. I'm wondering if there are others like me who have experienced the 'conform to us or be rejected' contract of being in a work group? I'm wondering about any of the experiences around self, personality and identity and work situations - both professional and work social situations.

I've just had a moment of epiphany surrounding the word 'significant'.

I'm going to sit on it but I wanted to write this so as to commit it's existence to the real world, and not to the relative clutter of my sub conscious :)

People. Connections. Significance... significant, names and labels and words, another associated concept on the brain is 'constellations' which is becoming a rather interesting and more and more apt concept the more I think on it.

Yay intution! Go logic - now it's your turn.

Stand by for sense making at some later stage.

Now much more reflective of who I am :)

The prompt for this was a poly website that I've been invited to participate in, and it's almost ready for launch. It's very participatory and invites members to blog... so in blogging I had to introduce myself :)

The site hasn't launched yet, but I expect it will very soon now, and as such I will link you all to its lovely shinyness :)

Linguistic 37
Mathematics 25
Visual/Spatial 26
Body/Kinesthetic 23
Naturalistic 27
Music 30
Interpersonal 43
Intrapersonal 37

Interesting :)

The basics on the different styles below the cut ( Read more... )

It's been filled with poetry, inspiration and love.

It's also been filled with support and connection, and has left me feeling loved, and grateful.

First of all, a huge thank you to subtle_eye who spent hours on unravelling style sheets for me today courtesy of Word 2007 being... difficult. I learnt lots and usually I can fix my own problems like this just fine... this one really did stump me though.

Thank you to LR whom picked up my text books for me, and also met me for coffee - which was brilliant. I think I'm utterly in line with the awesomeness of Tiger Tiger. I liked the place before, now I really love it :)

Also, thanks to prk who just made things completely possible. *grateful*

Is there anyone who is free on the morning of August 10th (Tuesday next week) who could take me to the airport for 7:30-8am?

( Success Seminar Series... what did I learn and accomplish... what inspired me? )
And now, bed time.

So today I had a breakthrough. I came out of the micromanagement morning meeting, pissed off and deeply resenting and feeling offended over perceiving that as the situation went, being held to ransom for plans I'd been clear about at the beginning of the year and had done my level best to minimise the impact on the business etc etc with needing to take more than the 4 weeks of leave. Purchased leave would have made it easier, but was knocked back. I'm now planning around the lwop required to go to Brisbane to be with babalon_93 when baby arrives.

Boss pointed out yesterday that if I put in the lwop application, that it would leave him in the same position as what had caused him to reject my purchased leave application. I pointed out that I'd tried very hard to communicate this at the time, that this was for me family commitments I'd made and those obligations didn't disappear just because he didn't approve the purchased leave which was my way of making it financially easier for myself.

So yes, still going to Brisbane. My current plan is possibly to wander off over there for six months via lwop, leaving K and Cam to manage household here, and between the three of us make the finances work. This is dependent on applying for, and receiving approval for the lwop, which is by no means guaranteed. Having said that if I can do it this way, it gives me a safety net of not losing my permanency, I've started looking to arrange contracts either in Brisbane or in Perth, private enterprise, 3-6 months in length. The point being I can organise new job stuff or whatever the hell I'm meant to be doing next, while not going to that place day to day, working for that person. High on my lists of personal well being moves.

It's not perfect, and it will probably be stressful, however I feel far less so than currently I am experiencing. I don't recognise myself when I am there, going there or leaving there. I don't recognise this person who feels worthless and dejected and dreads the day - this is not who I am, and I have reached the point where I have to create inside of a possibility where I can not be in this situation, and still be responsible and do the bill paying household supporting thing.

So, maybe I'll be in Brisbane, maybe I'll be in Perth. I have no idea, and this entire thing terrifies me and exhilarates me in equal measure. However... I remember that somewhere underneath this angst and emo and such, there is an amazing person, and this person is me, and I am capable and vulnerable and ready to try this different journey path.

I have no idea what it will look like, but I am excited about what I will create and learn, and uplifted by the love and support around me by all these amazing, brilliant people.

I just need to hold onto this feeling day to day, till this can all happen - till I am free. Wobbly steps to power, but I'm not going to let circumstances dictate to me in this arena any longer. I can move mountains - including this fucker.

*determined*

You are such a seductive city. I am utterly smitten.

I post from The Tenth Muse, as mentioned in previous post, where they have WIFI. As if the place hadn't been outstanding BEFORE that :P

I'm drinking wine, giving e_dan a chance to have some time to himself, then will be heading back to the apartment and we'll head off to Bendigo at some point.

I shopped today - initially only because I wanted to buy something for K and Cam as a gift because you know, I love them, and I'm here in Melbs and I love giving presents. Also, they're tending the house and are loving and wonderful partners so gifts = good :) Found something awesome :)

Bought a ring for myself - it's a kitty, and it looks like it's curled around my little finger playfully, I love it.

I also went to a wonderful store - and if you're on Brunswick Street I highly recommend this, it's called "Mazi" and possibly also 'Made in Melbourne', but they are WONDERFUL I wish I could have spent a lot more money there. I bought a single wrap top that is a little bit like my Intimo ones but a bit dressier, and there were 2 other pieces. The assistant there was a wonderful lady and she had great suggestions for shapes and fits and colours and I even tried on a very loud print - which I usually avoid like the plague and really liked it. I may have made friends with her - I'll be contacting her to have coffee with me when I'm next in Melbs.

I found a jewellery place that had me try on the top I just bought and presented me with some beautiful jewellery that I would love to have bought, but you know, tight budget this time around. It was really well suited :)

I found a kind of style of hats that actually suit me!!! I wanted very much to buy one, but again, budget... but it was gorgeous and cute and could even do casual and dressy all at once! I didn't buy it, but I want to order it when I get home, also, I did buy gloves there - they are fingerless but have a mitten cover :) They're a little bit odd which I like :)

I spent most of the afternoon with a girl I met last time I was here, she's the partner of one of MS's partners (oh poly, I love you) and we loved hanging out today - it was good for both of us :) If I spend a few months over here I may stay with her :) If that works out all I'd have to do is work out the whole job thing. It's exciting though - everything seems possible :)

But in short, fuck I love Melbourne - and I love it as the city itself - I'm more and more convinced of this, because yes I know and love people over here, but it doesn't quite explain my joy at being back at Tenth Muse, or that I found a coffee/bar that makes great coffee with an owner who is cool and chatty, and lots of other little things that I just want to really enjoy!

e_dan mentioned something last night which resonated strongly with me, and I won't go deeply into it, but the gist of it was that in the growth I seem to be doing I seem to be engaging in a journey of real self discovery and expression, moving outside the bounds and guides and supports of my various 'communities' (loose term, not just swancon etc) and really discovering who I choose to be as a person, and what I want to bring to the world. I feel a bit easier about the difficulty and angst and uncertainty I've experienced over this inside of that particular conversation - it makes sense and it gives me a realm to explore, even if the prospect is frankly terrifying - but on the otherside - who knows?

I get to discover who I really am and this cannot be a terrible thing. I know who I am loosely, I know who I am in relation to various communities and other external things - but right now I think I am working out who I am for myself and for the world as a whole. It's less scary now, and a bit more exciting!

I realised today that part of me is missing being at the Natcon... but a lot of me isn't. I am right now, right where I should be. I'm starting to love that.

Yesterday was not very productive, I was in emo PMS mode. I did cook however (baby on the way gift for a friend who is due in mid May), I then went to said friend's baby shower - and it was lots of fun, one of the best I've been to in fact :) Primary school teachers organise very cool stuff and games :P

Didn't manage to get much of my assignment written yesterday but I really tried - I really really tried. Today so far things are going better (even considering I'm writing this rather than the essay).

Many thanks to girliejones who was really there for me last night when I needed it, apparently her laughter is the music to get my fingers typing - or somesuch :P It was funny and I think maybe you had to be there :P Safe to say she is awesome, I adore her and am grateful :)

Wish I was on the beach having breakfast like someone else I know :P *waves at subtle_eye, however I am cosily tucked up in my bed which is something.

I'm still feeling stressed, still feeling overwhelmed and still being reminded that my coping is low atm - but I am trying to take care of myself, and love myself, forgive myself and be willing to examine what's going on around me. It's been good, there are realisations that have helped, and things I'm still thinking through. Most of all, I'm trying to just be myself rather than just 'doing' stuff. I kind of lost the being for a while, and I'm reclaiming it. This helps with my study too as I'm reminded that I -love- the subject matter and find it interesting and engaging.

On that note, I'm going back to it. *smiles*

P.S. *waves* at tikiwanderer I dreamt of you last night where we woke up together (and statnerdery), pre dawn and cuddled. I felt the baby move and we were sleepy and smiley and it was warm under the covers. I remember peeking over you and smiling at statnerdery. It was a nice little dream :) I woke up smiling :)

* Got assignment back that stressed me out heaps - I passed, but it's clear that it was awful. *shudders* I could have used the feedback on this marked assignment oh... a day or two before handing it in? Still it's done. It's marked. I passed. Not only that but I know I did everything I could both reasonably and unreasonably do to engage with the assignment and try and work at it better. I didn't quite succeed, but there's learning to be had in that too.

Possibly, letting go. There is no more to be had from this - I've learned and engaged and experienced, and now I should move on. There are current assignments to think on.


* Job. I've changed since I started this job - I can barely recognise the February 2008 me from the current me... *boggle* It's a little frightening - it's a lot exhilarating! The job is no longer what I need - it doesn't do what I need it to, and the two of us? We are no longer compatible. The things I disliked in December, I still dislike now, despite several approach and engagement changes and painful examination of attitude. (this is still underway, and yes it's still unpleasant). I think rather than continuing to put energy into somehow manufacturing contentment, into changing the scope of the job or wanting it to grow with me... that I need to let it go.

Let it go and thank it for the lessons learned. Consider what's next - I am clear there are a few steps between this and my dream job post degree qualification. So what do those steps look like? Time to let go of the security blanket as it hampers me - and yet be aware of what's so and not be blind to that. Mortgage, bills, travelling - still a priority.

So tonight's realisation and lesson from the mirror of self examination is... to learn to let go. It's a realisation that letting go is not failure, it doesn't mean anything about me. Letting go is something of closing a door - but rather than freaking out and worrying over the pathway I'm moving away from, I have an opportunity to explore the myriad paths up ahead.

I expect the next few weeks, possibly months to be something of a struggle, and a huge learning curve but - I'm up for it and I'm willing to engage and am sure that I'll still be me and awesome at the end of it. I wonder what shape the awesome will be in?

I'm excited by this rather than fearful and anxious. Now to hold onto it when I get to work tomorrow. When I'm job hunting tomorrow. When I'm plotting, researching and writing my assignments.

Just in the catching myself smiling at memories as they occur. I am restless tonight, excited about Swancon, and yet really looking forward to night time company again.

I'm amused and boggled that I can be involved with three people, admittedly two of them are interstate, but that it's been nearly a full week since the boys have been back here. They've been absolutely flat out doing stuff for their demo at Swancon, heaps of building stuff and rehearsing and make up and costuming - the whole kit and caboodle! I'm so proud of them, and I know that it's going to be absolutely incredible when it happens!

By the time I get to tomorrow night, I will I imagine have had enough quiet and alone time to last me more than the entire convention - it will be so wonderful to be in amongst all of you. Though I will be missing e_dan a bit I expect.

How am I feeling? Okay. I'm not sure how else to describe it without starting a much larger conversation.

( apparently am conversational )

Also if anyone's interested in stuffing con bags, feel free to sms me on Thursday for the details.

I am kind of taken with the idea atm of being able to work from my laptop somehow.

Or do something that is freelance-y that means I can travel and explore :)

Thoughts that anyone things I'd be particularly good at or should look into?

Someone I know from the seminar series I'm doing atm, experienced me as fearless tonight. There was silence and none of us were speaking. Just taking a few moments to engage and look at one another eye to eye. It was a compelling experience.

Given everything that was part of my experience of last week, having someone mention me as 'fearless' really pinged something. I wasn't fearless last week, but I did continue to act in the presence of it, and I didn't honour it as being in control. I was. I engaged and opened up and listened, I considered the experience of others relating to myself and how it impacted them.

I got to know them, got to know myself, and us better.

This person tonight said that them getting 'fearless' from me when we did this exercise, was that they wanted to go out and wrestle something or confront something - something scary, they felt completely inspired by this.

I'm amazed. I'm grateful.

This possibly lacks a little coherence, but I'm -very- tired and need to be sleeping now :) I did want to post about this though.

Also, I made an offer to a friend tonight, and was surprised (in the second moment in my head) at my confidence in the offer I'd made. I offered to him that I could create the experience of intimacy with him, and have it be safe and non-sexual. Given where he's at he was grateful and accepted. My surprise is not that I offered, but in that I am in no way doubtful that I can do it.

This would be why I kind of want to do this for a living. Create. Inspire. Connect. Love.

All of this tells me... that I really do create positive change, and make a difference in the area of love and connection for people. I could cry... it's hit me just now as I type like a tonne of bricks.

In other words, I have recently become a bit hooked on crosswords. I also bought a logic puzzle book, because the puzzles are fun, and I figure that my ability to engage creatively with language and logic could use some back up ;)

The world is shiny, even though I'm tired and wrung out emotionally. I am feeling so much love, and in turn am expressing it as much as possible. I feel the abundance in my life, and I am grateful.

"I'm Yours" by Jason Mraz...

This song brings joy to me every time I hear it, or remember it. I start humming it. It gets in my head - and is welcome to camp there.

There's a lot that I love about the lyric, and a lot I love about the sound...

Funnily enough, it's not that I experience it reminding me of a particular person - or at least... not an other person. It reminds me of me.

It reminds me of the joy and freedom I've created in my connectionism, in my loves and relationships and through that experience I feel the abundance and possibility. It also reminds me of what I want for the world, and what I want to bring to the world...

Love, love, love, love, love....

(and connection and compassion - which are not secondary, but less the focus in this particular moment :P)

( lyrics below cut... )

Dear universe: I'm Yours.

I'll be making some sort of official post soonish, but didn't want to wait to say something.

Everything went beautifully - the weather held, with a few well intentioned and loving rain droplets here and there. It was cool if a little humid.

There were about 30 people who arrived in ebbs and flows throughout the evening. A sincere and loving thank you to all of you who turned up. It meant a lot and I really appreciate it.

The fundraising was successful and another sincere thank you to everyone who donated today for the event, your generosity is incredible. I'll be visiting the Red Cross this week.

I had a wonderful afternoon, where there was lounging, food and awesome company. It was very relaxed, social and easy.

Many, many thanks as a last (and important) note, to black_samvara and angriest for helping me to realise this and being so wholehearted and loving around it all. It's been a joy and I couldn't wish for better people to do something like this with.

What I most of all wanted to create out of today, and share with others is the sense of community around us - and that we as a community can act together, and make a difference, and see the love and generosity of spirit that is so abundant.

Events such as the bushfires devastate many people, many ways - which is to say not just those affected. Given the horror and gravity I really wanted to remind people of that community we have access to and that we nurture, and through that - do something where collectively we could make a difference.

The launch of 'Hope' the fanzine was awesome, and I may have been gushy and emotional at angriest who wrote the most beautiful Editorial ever (note: i am biased). I can't wait to read the rest of what this first issue has in store!!

If you're interested in a copy of the fanzine, please comment or contact me, there is no set cost, just a donation to the bushfire appeal. Your donation brings you what looks to be a 4 issue fanzine series, which has some amazing content both in the first issue and those upcoming.

I have a couple of friends on my flist who have families in the affected regions and they report that the aid money is getting to those who need it quickly and usefully which is awesome to hear and know.

There are a few more causes that I'd like to pick up and run with in the coming weeks, but I'm not quite sure what form that will take. In short: books and animals.

I choose to be someone who is an expression of love and connection and compassion, where I get to be inspiring and powerful. I can't resent that, I can't worry about how it will turn out, all I can do is be honest in it, and consistent in it, and have integrity within that vision. Everything else will still happen, and I'll still get to be that person good, bad or otherwise.

1. What high school subjects did you enjoy?

English, Social Studies, Drama.

2. Choose three essential items to help while away an international plane flight.

My laptop. Company. Continuous power.

3. Favourite childhood toy?

I faintly remember this pale pink 'mouse' toy, called 'Mousie' but she went missing so so so long ago that really I don't remember her enough to call her my 'favourite'.

My favourite toy was a 'Dino' toy from the Flintstones. I actually called him 'Flintstone' and carried him around -everywhere- by his neck, till all the stuffing wore out there, and he was a ragged neck toy. I still remember him very fondly - he was great to cuddle.

4. Favourite adulthood toy?

The internet.

5. Favourite indulgence?

Sensory overload.

hahahaahahaha bedtime!

1. How do you define someone 'being there' for you as a friend?

Sharing their love with me - ultimately the basis for my love is friendship is that I want to know that the person I love, knows it. I also want to know I'm loved in return. Everything else stems from that :)


2. What's your favourite taste and why?

In this moment, dark chocolate and rose... because the flavours compliment one another so amazingly well - the rose brings out such nuances in chocolate that I'd never experienced before. Similarly, chocolate adds an earthy richness, a realness to the experience of something that even in taste can be perceived as a scent... I truly feel that the flavour of 'rose' is as the scent is. That's how I experience it in any case.


3. Did you have a favourite teacher or class at school? Why was that person or class your favourite?

Year 9 Drama: Miss Millar. It was the first time I wasn't afraid of being noticed. I found out that I was actually really good at drama... which to know me now doesn't sound like a stretch. But then, you could hear me babble and I'd be saying nothing, and it would all be to avoid notice. My experience of that time was being 'anathema' - the worst thing I could imagine was drawing attention to myself, and I was terrified of doing the class. Miss Millar was amazing though and as she was such a good teacher - firm yet fun and joyful, I liked her. At that point given the person I was then... I wanted to please her. So I did. And discovered more about me in the process :)


4. How did you come to define yourself as a fan for the first time?

I got to be around other people that noticed and appreciated strange little things like I did, who were all a little different, did or said things differently. I just felt like it was a sort of 'home' I'd never had before... my experience of identifying being a fan, has nothing to do with being a fan of anything save fans themselves. It was callistra who introduced me to fandom however (see one of the other set of answers for expansion on that).


5. Name one phrase you wish you were able to say more often, and why.

'Whatever cranks your cheese wheel' - A friend said it once and I was, and continue to be, totally charmed by it. Otherwise translated as 'whatever makes you happy' or 'whatever floats your boat'.

1 - Where do you see yourself in ten year's time?

Still in love, still falling in love.

Possibly working for the UN, possibly working on some sort of speaking tour. Definitely making a difference.

Everything else is up for negotiation.

2 - What books have had the biggest influence on your worldview?

The Silver Brumby
My Big Book of Fairytales
The Black Jewels books.
Kushiel's Dart
The Diamond Throne
Evolution's Darling
Web Mage
The Rowan
Damia
Jack the Bodiless
Diamond Mask

3 - What legacy would you like to leave behind?

A legacy of love. Having truly been a stand, inspiration and power for love and connection. Having made a difference in the world through this.

4 - If you could live in any book, movie or TV show, what would it be?

Black Jewels world, all the way.

5 - What character from any kind of fiction is most like you?

I keep thinking and coming back to this, and I still have... absolutely no idea.

I'm open to suggestions :)

1. You've mentioned on your blog about being or not being funny quite a bit. Who do you think is funny? (I mean in terms of actors, comedians, writers, etc.)

I think that the person who writes XKCD is genuinely funny.
Sometimes I like Little Britain, Black Books and other British comedy.

I tend to find that I intensely dislike humiliation style or much modern slapstick comedy - have seen some older stuff that was amusing.

I like humour that is often considered to be... hmm... for want of a better way of describing it 'high brow' to be humour...

Aaron Sorkin was frequently hilarious. The writers of 'The Middleman' were deliriously funny.

I'm surprised how often I find the writing in Supernatural funny.

Stephen Moffat I appreciate his humour.

Angelina Jolie when she's being expressive and not saying a word. And when she's speaking.

I'm sure there are others - I'll make an effort this year to notice who and when and what I find funny and blog about it :)

2. What would you be doing for a living in your dream career?

I'd be a travelling speaker. I'd speak, and inspire and connect people. I'd create something that lasted in them, something that allowed them to 'get' something that they'd always kind of wondered about, or could perceive but not reach. I believe that a focus of 'love' is inherent with how I'd achieve this.

3. You and I both love The West Wing - is there anything in that show that you wish had happened another way, or not happened at all? (Not including obvious real-life factors, such as John Spencer dying.)

I kind of wish that Josh and Joey had had a thing for a while.

I wish that we'd seen more political Abbey.

I wish that the Republican advisor they got on, had stayed for longer.

I wish that they hadn't stopped it at the end of S7...

I wish that they'd actually won a few more of the legislation and policy battles... I had the perception of them doing a really good job, but I feel that there were some big things they could have got done that they didn't re policy and legislation.

4. Who plays you in the film of your life?

Angelina Jolie.

5. Tell me - as briefly as you like - a treasured childhood memory.
( for length... )

Some days, more than others, I feel the lead yoke of being Australian.

Days like today where my revision has included reading up on environmental sustainability, biodiversity, the carbon footprint of Australia and it's people in general, ideas of what it means to be Australian, on 'mateship', on the 'fair go', on multiculturalism and egalitarianism, on the stolen generations, on the NT intervention, on reconciliation and its history in Australia, immigration and community, social capital and Australia, not to mention the status of women, value of children and parenthood, definition of families, and touching on gender awareness.

It makes my head melt. How is it that we are seen to be a country of possibility, of freedom, of tolerance and even general affable nature...?

It's a rhetorical question, not one I actually want the answer on. Just... venting I guess, because, my brain and heart are crying for some of the things that have occurred in my name as an Australian... and.... most days I feel like my attempts at awareness and recognition, of making my voice heard is not enough. I try not to live in a headspace of such powerlessness, but sometimes it's important to acknowledge the space as real and that in part it's recognition of how others must experience this frustration and pain. I have no idea about much of this for the most part - I am privileged and I own that.

Mind you, if I can take my ranty venty-ness into the exam with me? I expect I'll get a great mark.

This exam at least, I expect to do well - the material makes sense to me, I'm familiar with it and I'm far more passionate about it than I realised. I also got excellent feedback on how I was picking things up all the way through.

On that note however, time for sleep. Tomorrow's a big day. Though I have to say and this is just me acknowledging myself... that I'm not experiencing fear/anxiety around the ultrasound tomorrow. I'm proud of myself for the comfortable space I'm in around it.

Today has been lovely. There was a snuggly kae_dash upon waking.

Got to work in good time, but didn't rush.

Got 'stuff' done - made headway into the mountain of paperwork that needs to be processed that bills get paid.

Did more work on my job application for the Rottnest Island Authority events development officer. I'm really hopeful about this as I think I'd be awesome at it - I need some experience in one or two areas, but I have the greater context of skill and flexibility required for events stuff and I have a solid understanding of how it works as 'stuff'. I am hopeful and crossing my fingers.

Being the seminar series tonight, and looking forward to seeing the people I did my forum with again, not to mention getting my head around stuff better - I found many aspects of it within basic grounding thoughts of what I already thought/had figured, some not at all and of those some I appreciate and others not so much. Enjoying the enquiry in any case. Plan on doing some assisting to better develop what I want out of it and access the information/practice etc - looking forward to that as well.

Had a wonderful lunch with alkland today, who is still beautiful and chirpy and shiny shiny :) I've missed her so much - and I still miss the_informative lots!

Ran into agoodliedown and hopefully provided some sort of love based fortification for upcoming retail hell for her... will go past to see her on my way to the seminar tonight.

Slash gathering yesterday evening was just wonderful - lots of people, Boston Legal pimpage that was enthusiastic and spot on - zebra363 you were just so hearwarming about it all!! *is in love with Boston Legal all over again* That said, I was distracted upon leaving and managed to leave my Slash-mas present (Boston Legal S2) at the party :P I will now have to wait patiently to get it back :)

Really in summary, there are many shiny things in my world, and several of them I am creating for myself which makes me feel awfully accomplished and very in tune with 'me' and the aspirations/goals I have.

More and more getting my head around me being a person who drives for example. Also, me being a person who is not uncoordinated, and even a person who has credible taste in music and movies. Go me.

*hugs the universe*

Mark which of the following you've experienced...
( Read more... )

Like certain others across my flist, I feel from this that I'm much more Australian than I would have credited beforehand...

dalekboy what an awesome meme you've created!

I'm not monosexual, and I'm not monogamous. I'm also not a tourist, and none of it is a crime. It doesn't make me less queer. It doesn't mean that I don't suffer marginalisation and discrimination - sometimes it means I get it from the very community that I feel I am a part of and advocate strongly.

I'm not a tourist, I never will be - I'm happy to not pin down my attraction to someone based on their gender.

I'm happy to feel I don't need to define my relationships in a way that means I pick one person above another. I feel no qualm in the fact that I am utterly in love with several people that I'm closest too, am content with the relationships I have that do and don't involve sex.

Just felt a need to say that I'm not undermining queer rights, my pointing out that the discrimination isn't focused only on people who are monosexual, doesn't demean them. Don't assume that just because I can 'pass' for heteronormative, that I don't feel an intense dislike of the fact on various occasions. Feeling invisible, especially when you're raising your voice and speaking out - it's not fun.

I'm not after bells and whistles and special treatment - I'm just pointing out that your validity is also my own, don't dismiss it.


ETA: The concept of labelling someone a 'tourist' is a problem in and of itself - it suggests that those whom are exploring identity and engaging with different ways of life are not valid in doing so, which isn't true. My thought is simply to articulate that I'm still living this choice over ten years later and funnily enough it's still working just fine.


*monogomouse - a mouse which dances the monogo.... or something. (this just for Calli)

This post is a direct result of conversations had over the weekend, and in part it's here for my reference, but thought also that others might be interested. ( beware length )