The Professional Lap Cat

In the tradition of a couple of friends' I've been thinking what I want 2010 to be about for me. I think what's becoming clear to me (though not set in stone) is the idea of 'connectionism'.

What this means for me (given it's not a real word) is:
- being connected to people
- promoting things that mean others get to be connected
- learning about what connection means, looks like, feels like etc in as many ways as possible
- connecting with new people
- deepening my connection with current friends
- being and living a life that gives people an idea of what connection is and can look like
- sharing what I know and have learned and experienced about connection with interested parties


That's the overarching theme to the year. It fits in well with the overarching theme to my life, which is 'love'.

I don't think I am in a space where I can begin to break that one down to such neat little dot points, so I will trust simply that it is obvious that the person I am is an expression of and intertwined with the associations of love :)

Other things I'd like the year to be about:

- cooking for and with friends, spending time and learning skills, teaching skills in the kitchen
- getting to know friends better, really appreciate them and what they're doing in their lives - what matters to them
- meeting new people and seeing the world through their eyes
- enjoy my love affair with academic learning, explore the wonderous things I get to think about and learn about, and do well marks wise in the process.
- continue my love affair with Fremantle, because I'm just head over tea-kettle for the place. It's the place I fell in love with here in Perth, first.
- cook new dishes!
- practice course meals and make gifts of these to people as pleases me
- continue to be open and honest about my life - the results of this have been stand out and phenomenal, I suspect this is something that will just become natural and fade to the background.
- fall in love as often as possible, and delight in it every time (this is actually standard experience for me, but I want to really notice it - I never want to take it for granted.
- spend time being less well behaved, in control and out of trouble - aka, have spontaneous, wild and wonder filled adventures in unlikely places.
- start learning French
- travel interstate and spend time with people who I'd love to be closer friends with
- see what it's like being an independent, hippy arts student exploring the country :) (and later - the world!!)
- inspire others in themselves, the things they're doing, the things I'm doing, and to come on spontaneous adventures with me just *because* hanging out and doing something unexpected will be *glorious fun*

One of mine and K's favourite things to have happened, is to become part of the yearly invite to amarillion's family Christmas dinner. It's a huge affair, with heaps of food and lovely smiling people from several families and often friends (like us!) too :) K has become part of the carving team, and this year I contributed a pavlova - honestly, the best one I've ever made.

I also got to see pictures of the trip that amarillion's parents had done the year before at Christmas time to Antartica - wow.

I love the big gathering, with happy people coming together, all bringing bits and pieces and ever year, such warm greetings for us - even though we're additions and not actually family :) This year we brought Cameron too, and it was still just like a sense of 'home'. Cam fit in beautifully with discussions about Neal Asher amongst other things.

prk and amarillion are part of the chosen family for K and I and spending Christmas Day with them just makes sense... it's hard to imagine it otherwise. I love them *so* very much.

Christmas Day has come to include for me, cauliflower cheese, rolled roast pork, ham, turkey, roasted veggies and pot luck desserts. This followed by what seems to be a yearly marathon of Mythbusters on Foxtel from the couch where we all lie, half dozing and unable to move while our bodies digest. Late in the afternoon we stagger out and drive back home, and it always feels like I can't quite bear for the day to end.

The complexities of family move me and fascinate me. I love my family, and my chosen family. I think I'll discuss with K doing something as an event to share with our chosen family next year as we've never hosted a Christmassy thing before... we shall see :)

Tomorrow we hang out with Cam's family up in Mundaring - hoping that it will be lovely up there as K hasn't seen much of the area at all, while I got to see a bit when I was living up there with Darkewolf. It's an area of Perth I'd like to spend more time in as I have very fond memories of it. My fondness for Freo actually stems from being on an awesome picnic there in which I met Darkewolf :) Expect that the hanging out will be awesome and I'm looking forward to it.

Am experiencing some hormonalness, though not emo soppiness, rarely for me a quickness to grumpyness. Realised this tonight with the boys carrying on being cute and adorable in the back (but noisy and annoying too). We were heading out with Kallan to find food (Ninniku Jip rocks). I've been having late night dinner/desserts with Kallan often enough just the two of us that I was completely unprepared for the boisterous grossness of toilet humour that marks the experience of when the four of us are together - or rather me wibbling in horror with the three others outdoing each other with disgustingness :P

I'm missing my connections, companions a little atm, but had a wonderful phone catch up with Mr Brisbane which has my heart stirring - and his judging from words and sharing. He still plans to come over here for a Margaret River trip I'm planning next year. I'm just in one of those rare spaces where certain lovely people interstate just *feel* far away. It will pass, it always does :) Still putting it out there in the universe to meet some lovely and awesome person in Perth to enjoy connection and companionship with.

1. Post about something that made you happy today even if it's just a small thing.
2. Do this everyday for eight days without fail.
3. I'm not going to tag anyone, but feel free if you're so inclined :)


What made me happy YESTERDAY: Sharing a perfect day, in the Swan Valley with a friend, introducing him to the awesomeness on offer :) He wasn't, till yesterday, a wine, cheese and culture person :P He now is :) Then we arrived (only getting slightly lost) at Ellenbrook for the picnic and performance and everyone was there and it was just all awesomeness!!

I was so proud of my Mum for coming and another friend from a totally different group of people I hang out with - it would have been a little strange for them just turning up but they enjoyed themselves, and my Mum just looked beautiful in the twilight, smiling. Also, everyone loved her quiche :) I aspire to quiches like hers.

I got to sit with my beloved in the darkness watching Shakespeare (though Othello, not my favourite), and just be with loved ones.

Incredible day. Thank you to everyone who made it, or tried to make it :) I love you all!


What made me happy today was... my laptop motherboard getting replaced and seeing my laptop perform better (still needs fan replaced).

Also enjoying the peace and quiet, the projector screen and catching up on media watching (today is a slow day after yesterday's hecticness :)

And! I spoke on the phone with the lovely MS, which is always a joy! Plus, conversation with prk.

I am also deeply happy because some of the people I love best in the world are having the most amazing time in Sydney. I miss you all and love you heaps!

I've submitted my essay for Ideas in Action *relief*! I think it's a decent effort - hopefully worth an HD, as I could really use one in this particular unit given the awfulness of the tutor.

I'm not looking forward to the exam, but am cheered by the thought of exam prep with a study partner. It's almost like being an internal student!! *grin*

Have my PR Journal which is also due in today (Friday, no I'm not paying attention to the time :P) but I still have some work to go on it. I don't think it's a huge amount, and the assignment itself should be a pretty damned good study for that exam which is kind of awesome.

Next week shall be the land of lectures and note taking and trying to suck all the information out :)


Job hunting is still pants as far as being employed in such a way as being able to support myself, however there has been validation related awesomeness happening, so yay for that at least, it tells me that I'm following the right course of action however difficult I'm finding it to resist capitulating and taking yet another dead end admin job.


I am making fantastical travel plans that exist in a real sense in my commitment to doing them or something like them, but are in no way practically possible going by the $ factor.

I am feeling compelled to go on spontaneous adventures - instead of going home or doing what I'm 'supposed to do' to just, grab some clothes and go on an adventure and explore - without any real planning or decision making or forethought, just letting whimsy and intuition guide me and educate me. I have fantasy's of super cheap trips to Margaret River, camping and tasting lots of wine and lamenting not buying any. e_dan and MS's trip across the Nullabour and back make me hunger for the desert at night time, with all it's wonder - especially at this time of year.

My energy feels vibrant and sometimes fraught - as if I'm only being held back by some fragile string - that perhaps does not exist at all. I don't think it's necessarily good or bad, but it is interesting. My exploration for this year was 'self expression' which also occurs to me as 'exploration', and it has been at that. Fucking year of many opportunities for growth. It's been amazing, and intense, and painful and loving and sad and transcending. I'm still tackling the fact that I keep trying to make myself small, to keep myself back and to keep myself safe rather than actually risking falling flat on my face and failing but having tried to do something more awesome than I think I can do. Baby steps - even as I am committed to let go of this ongoing conversation, it's a bit like kicking and screaming inside my head; it would appear that I am terrified of actually trying, and worse than failing: succeeding. Then I'd really know anything was possible and all the half thought dreams and hopes in my head might actually also be able to come true. Imagine that. *waves to brain which has run off screaming*

So my life is filled with an abundance of love, from almost every imaginable angle. What balance is lacking I am seeking. Some of this is within, and some of this is inside of new connection. I am grateful and happy, committed to learning and growing and always falling in love with the people in my life. However hard the work is sometimes... it has never not been worth it - not when I keep seeing the things I value most becoming ever *more* in my life.

And now, I think bed rather than switching to what's left of PR to do. That shall be Sunday's task.

Oh, but before I go... reasons why ascetic_hedony is one of my favourite and best loved people in the world: (edited from FB)

Ascetic_Hedony: @Damian - 2 hours to go
@James - A Masters was enough for me, I try to avoid masochistic behaviour. I guess some people feel differently

Mynxii: You're one of my best friends and you say you're not into masochistic behaviour?

Ascetic_Hedony: @Ju - I guess that either makes you the exception, or simply exceptional ;)

Mynxii: awwww *is all melty* You're just the awesomest :) *loves*

* My relationships in various amazing forms are a major source of how my happiness is expressed.

* Seeing MS in the flesh is always just as amazing as I imagine it, and hope for it to be. This woman takes my breath away - I wish that we could spend more time together, easier. However, I deeply value and appreciate the time spent, I like to think we make the most of it without applying terrible significance to such events.

* Understanding the material is pants if the means to communicate that is screwed up. Take one brand new unit, add one tutor who talks about formality of language in emails that use nothing of the sort. (Seriously, no spelling, sentence structure, grammar or punctuation at all). This does nothing to convey reasons for me to trust in their ability to mark my work.

* When I am around people like MS, black_samvara and callistra I am bigger and feel like I really can make a positive difference in the world.

* I really am enjoying selling books to people. Today's trend was parents buying Feist for their sons.

* Job hunting is worse than pants. I'm still looking. I still really don't want to work permanently or full time.

* Having MS in the same city reminds me how much I love a shared balance of time spent with Loves in the same city, I'm reminded of how much I value what I shared with e_dan, and still value the trust and closeness, however it looks at any given time.

* I love imagining into the future, where Big Brother is given away to *everyone*. I imagine something not unlike Julian May's vision of a galactic milieu, connected not through special mental abilities, but technology that looks almost within our grasp. I imagine people connecting to other people where the first impression is 'human!' rather than external judgements of colour, body, gender, dress etc. I imagine that people being connected in this way will create a shared intimacy and from this birth the context of valuable personhood.

In the connecting with other humans, sharing their stories and lives and suffering I imagine that certain realities we shrug off now - say homelessness, will become more personal and thus more unacceptable to us. I imagine that there will be less people who are ridiculously rich or poor. I imagine a world where we interact as humanity. This has broader implications, suggestions and possibilities, none of which I'm prepared to discuss right now, here on my blog. Ask me about it in person.

* The sense that I'm meant to be travelling away from Perth for a while gets stronger. I'm called to spend time with others, share lives and experiences and time with them. Explore myself. Explore Australia and its culture, consider the differences in the way people relate state to state. I don't want to wait for conventions in order to get to know and spend time with people - it's too much like 'someday' for my taste. I want to be close to, be connected to and involved with people not in Perth, therefore I will go wandering. This means that gradual plans are being made with my Eastern States Tour in mind, it's going to happen baby!

* I still really want to undertake training as a doula. I want to support, empower and care for families bringing their new babies into the world, helping to create a positive environment where everyone feels capable, vital and connected to the experience. I want to support environments where there is less fear, worry and trauma all around, where babys' introduction to the world is gentle and loving. This is part of several larger conversations.

* Feminism is twisty and turny and every specific conversation links to several others - it all feeds in and all bears consideration. The breadth and depth of it however is boggling and difficult to take in. The more I discover the more I boggle, the more I consider and discuss and research and experience the more I wonder, the stronger I feel and the more I hope in the face of adversity and invisibility. My faith is deeply rooted in the concept of anything being possible.

* I promised vulnerability to you all via this space, and I've been very true to that, although less so these past few weeks as I've had no idea what to write, and a sense of little time in which to write it. I didn't want you to see me struggling with feeling dense and stupid over assessment that should be simple and to the point and not at all stressful. I didn't want you to see me turn myself into little knots over seeing MS here in Perth, introducing her to the boys and to aspects of my life and who I am. I didn't want you to see my experiences of sadness, feeling misunderstood and invisible. I didn't want you to see my experiences of feeling lonely - surrounded by such amazing people, I didn't want anyone to think anything less than that they made an important and vital difference to my world... yet here I continue to seek more. This is the short version of the vulnerability I've hidden from you. I didn't actually mean to... I just don't really have the words... I've been sharing this much more in person of late.

Still a bundle of work to do on these, and much editing needed as well as one whole piece to write and edit tomorrow. I am so over these reports. I'd much rather be concentrating on my essay and exam prep. Bah. Time to wind down and sleep.

Saw the Rebel Empire Warehouse finally - and OMG how amazing is it?! I'm so pleased for and proud of all of you involved for really making such an amazing space happen! Utterly amazed and seeing the happiness on my beloved's face is just incredible!

First day of course went well - confronting and challenging and awesome. 78 other people that I'm invested in, who are invested in me. Being connected to anything being possible all over again. Being connected to how important making a difference is to me, and that it's still in the shape of 'love'. Spent the day being myself and never feeling that this was anything other than awesome. Best decision made this year. Thank you vulnerability. Point of it is to get our attention off ourselves, and on others - the group of us there together and the groups of people in our lives, family, work, society, the world. Awesome.

Part of this was sharing that one of my experiences of daily life is falling in love - sometimes that's 'again' with someone, sometimes it's just for a moment or two, appreciating them in some way for a tiny or huge reason. Today it was one lady very nervously introducing herself to the group, was obviously hard for her to do, and I really noticed her commitment to not being stopped by the fear.

Such an epic journey to get to the course, glad I got there given how much got in the way - time, money, circumstances and K almost being seriously ill.

He's feeling better but is taking things very easy for the moment which is awesome.

Didn't get transcription job - fudged the testing somehow, if I'm still hunting in a few months time I'll reapply.

Reapplied to Lush for Perth City again. Determined.

Epic Espresso is still the awesome. So is the Royal India which was dinner.

I have finished my essay! And judging from feedback it is strong :) It also now has a conclusion! Final word count clocked in at 2225 - 25 words over the ideal fudge factor for a 2000 word essay. I must give particular thanks to e_dan who saved me potentially hours of research/fretting. I needed to explain hashtags in order for a particular part of my argument to fully make sense, ordinarily I'd do this with a cute little footnote (I love those)However, I had to reformat the essay into author-date referencing rather than my beloved footnotes, so I needed to explain it but didn't have the word count to do so by expanding the paragraph. Insert one 'non footnote' using an *

It's a little thing, but if I'd had to research what to do, it wouldn't have been pretty. I am grateful for social networks and quick answers to annoying questions like this. Funnily enough my essay was on the power of audiences in the context of social networking, business, and the way in which businesses engage with people (and how they should do so).

I'm deeply impressed by Sunset Events (who were one of my examples in the essay of someone doing it right), google them, check them out.

I've also joined the Wom*n's Collective at Murdoch, and am writing up a link salad piece for their annual women's edition of Metior. If you'd like your blog/resource included please feel free to link me. I'll be clear that everything I'm writing will be opinionative and not reflect the views of those I'm linking to, but the idea is to provide readers something of a printed carnival for where they can go online to discuss women's issues and feminism and all of that stuff - I'm lucky that several of you pointed me at various places, and now I'd like to share this with others.

It should be noted that any lack of coherence in the above is due to the fact that it all went into my essay.

In short, I'd love to mention your blog/resource in a link salad article I'm putting together for the upcoming Metior, if you'd like in link me. I'll also be doing a search of stuff I regularly read and other linked from there stuff. If you'd be up for me running such a list past you before finalising my article to hand in Monday, let me know, I'd be grateful for an opportunity to avoid sticking my foot down my throat if possible.

Other things I came across today and linked on FB but not here:

http://www.ted.com/index.php/talks/taryn_simon_photographs_secret_sites.html

Taryn Simon is a talented photographer. In this TED talk she introduces us to the notion that truth and fiction with photos is an interesting concept. She shares photographs she's taken of secret, hardly seen before places and also of photos taken of wrongfully convicted men who have served time for crimes they did not commit.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fmHN3JtyUXg

A brilliant review of the upcoming 'special' edition of Origin of Species - absolutely a must watch!

Other wonderful news is that MS and e_dan will be here in a matter of WEEKS!!! I can't wait to see them!!!!

Plus, I learned how to be a shop monkey for Fantastic Planet as a means of helping out when they need someone - I won't be working regularly, but this so far includes all day Tuesday and Monday 5th from 10-3pm if you'd like to come and see me fumble with book selling :)

Hoping either Crumpler or Lush will hire me to be a retail minion as well, as something like that suits my mood, attitude, interest in working and that whole paying bills thing - plus there's scope for me to move them interstate when I run away on my EST (Eastern States Tour).

Okay, it really is time for bed even though I'm sure I've forgotten other stuff I really wanted to mention.... tomorrow is soon enough now that I only have to finish the reference list for my essay :)

Apparently it's impossible and unthinkable that they'd only need one pair of shoes each to go away overnight with.

I dread to think what else is being packed....

*amusement*


On that note however, Happy Anniversary to both K and Cam, celebrating a year today.

It's interesting - I call to check. I call to check if certain people that I see and notice online as a matter of course are suddenly - and for an extended period not online.

Happily in this occasion when I've called all is well, but there's a keyboard full of water and Children of Earth :P



I had an intuitive experience last night, where at 3am upon falling asleep I was suddenly awake and full of fear, thinking of e_dan, with something 'white' also occurring inside of the feeling... I sms'd him and got back the very reassuring response that all was well. I spoke to him and MS today checking that all was really well, I thought even though it had pinged as e_dan that with the two of them so closely linked in my mind that perhaps it was MS I was intuitive to... or something, but all was well with her too.

I'm grateful for my intuition, but it took me quite a while to sleep last night after it happened, even when I received the sms that all was well. That said, I'd rather check, and check, and check and be misfiring than be right. I've been right more times than not in experiences like this, so the 'all is well' is particularly welcome.

I always seem to know when to call or sms K, and often my 'I should sms/call/email this person... now' is fairly spot on too.

It's interesting. It's mostly welcome, occasionally freakish in how it occurs to me. Mostly I'm grateful to feel connected.

Certainly when I spoke to e_dan and MS this morning there was connection and love - it was nice to be comforted after the fright minor though it was.

As an added bonus, MS was heading off to spend the day life modelling, and it gives me unending pleasure and joy to think of her spending the day like this, and thinking of me. *blush*

Love is a multi faceted thing and oh so beautiful, so is connection and the way the world and its energies work... baffling and incredible.

I am grateful.

Lovely to catch up with friends, and meet new people too :) Lovely just chatting, and just generally soaking up the poly warmth without it being a big deal :) Looking forward to more of the same.


Also experienced unexpected awesomeness via a phone call tonight. I am loved and thought of and am left wishing that there was someone close by enough that I want to snog :) Why yes, deliberately cryptic - ask me in person :)

Comment for feedback on my PR journal homework "I really enjoyed your personal summary, very inspirational and much more focussed than the average student." Which is nice to hear given this is my first attempt at PR stuff :)

It relates to a personal profile I had to write pitching myself to a client. Since I had no client to tailor my pitch to, I pitched me as I see myself, as I can be as the perfect choice for a client :)

Below for your appreciation/amusement:

Task:
Write a 200 word personal profile including information of your career aspirations, strengths, weaknesses, creative skills and job history. You are writing this as a pitch to your client to hire you as their PR consultant so consider tone, style structure and presentation.


mynxii is passionately committed to equality. For mynxii, organisation means ‘less work later’ while coordinating an event is an opportunity to play with art. mynxii believes that communication is the key to happiness, for individuals and organisations. In her early career she worked in the public service for over a decade, with her experience including substantial work in a project environment in IT and community events. Through her considerable work as a volunteer, mynxii’s commitment to a connected and healthy society is clear. In particular she recognises that the idea of community is far reaching, it is accessible to people beyond a geographic location through the use of technology.

In the future mynxii would like to work with the United Nations and travel as a motivational and educational speaker. As someone passionate about a positive future accessible in the present, mynxii is particularly interested in shifting the cultural stance on reproductive, family and relationship rights. This comes from an interest in natural birthing, love for love’s sake and the shape of the family being fluid and flexible. Whilst still undertaking academic qualification in order to achieve these goals, mynxii acts consistently to promote the change she advocates as part of everyday life.

I've just had a moment of epiphany surrounding the word 'significant'.

I'm going to sit on it but I wanted to write this so as to commit it's existence to the real world, and not to the relative clutter of my sub conscious :)

People. Connections. Significance... significant, names and labels and words, another associated concept on the brain is 'constellations' which is becoming a rather interesting and more and more apt concept the more I think on it.

Yay intution! Go logic - now it's your turn.

Stand by for sense making at some later stage.

Queensland has been the land of tea for me :p

babalon_93 have had to go back to the T2 shop three times this week...

1st time to pick up the tea pot that Babalon decided she did like enough to buy, and we got some great samples,
2nd time to return to pick up the central glass insert to the teapot, as it was missing when we got home, and we got more great samples.
3rd time was today to return the central glass insert which is dishwasher safe, because it had cracked in the dishwasher... and we got yet more samples.

Current favourites are - the Madagascan Vanilla, Strawberries and Cream, French Earl Gray, Red Green Vanilla

No doubt there will be others as well :P

Oh Buddha's Tears... gorgeous. I understand jasmine tea on a whole new level now.


Everything is going well, baby is still biding zer time but we're all cruisy and relaxed about it all - it's not like labour will suddenly not happen... at which point, we're hanging out, drinking tea, spending time, playing silly games, answering 3 year old's curious questions, sleeping, discussing interesting stuff and cooking.

Life is good. When I move to Brisbane for six months, I'm going to live in West End :) I'm a little bit smitten with it (though not on the same level as Brunswick Street and Northcote in Melbourne - I'm still hankering for more of the Tibetan e_dan! :)

Okay, sleepy time now.

fleur_du_soir bringing over his Dyson vac and vacuuming with me. My house is blessedly and belovedly clean.

Also, I NEED A DYSON. I want it to have my babies.

I can't impress upon you enough how much wonderful I'm feeling simply to have all the sand and grit and dust and pet hair GONE!

And with so little effort really... I so need one of these things.



I watched Harry Potter tonight and enjoyed it. Save that Hermione was reduced to a hand wringing emo girl :/ *grump* I didn't find it anything special however. It just was.


I am now in bed relaxing in nice clean surroundings with lovely tea. K is pottering and it is quiet surrounding... this is lovely.


I had a late breakfast with prk and ran into other friends (with lj names I'm too lazy to look up for the spelling) Jo and Nova while heading in to do grocery shopping. Bentley shopping centre is made of savings win.

We had great discussion and once again I'm so appreciative that conversations surrounding feminism with him are questioning and seeking, respectful and interesting. I can safely assume he'll get the basics or ask me, and that we can enjoy some great back and forth over the meat of the discussion. I love that he understands what I mean about elephants no longer being invisible once you see them for the first time.

Thank the Universe for the love I get to share in and experience in my life.

What is clear to me this moment, is that this is not thanks to the Universe at all, and is a function of me being who I am moving through the world.

Tonight I'm connected to this understanding where if I am committed to genuinely being who I am - and continually taking joy in, examining and discovering me, then I get to experience the love and joy and friendship (add other expressions as appropriate) that I adore and value so much.

Instead, tonight I shall thank the Universe for me.

* Still have a Supanova post to write regarding the meeting of Richard Hatch and how this inspired me.

* Sick for three days this week, still coming out of it.

* Work has been manageable through a series of unexpected reprieves, I don't expect this to last.

* Job hunting like crazy and am simultaneously fired up and hungry for it, and apathetic and cynical. Unpleasant.

* Unexpectedly last night K and friends ended up being social and celebratory (I forget why) and they had a brilliant time, drinking, talking a lot and staying up till not long before my alarm went off to get up for work. When K came to say goodnight with Cam, they were so relaxed and adorable that my (significant) irritation at still being awake at 2:30am melted away.

* No one was especially noisy or raucous, but anything after 2:30am sounds noisy when you're trying to sleep and failing. I tried to sleep largely unsuccessfully wearing headphones - it was in fits and starts for bursts that didn't feel long enough at any stretch.

* Called in late to work, slept an extra much needed silent hour. Can't begrudge K the much needed splurge on relaxation and fun, but fervently wish that it hadn't been on a 'school night' for me.

* Friday night group was awesome company, and there was Brando's pizza and S3 Torchwood eps 1-3, which was brilliant. Downside was nerdus_maximus2 having her bag stolen just before I arrived, while there were people in the house :( We've all been hoping for a miracle of 'under a chair/behind something somehow' but alas the twelvish of us were not suffering mass blindness that we can see thus far :(

* Just on Torchwood - huge step up for Torchwood, step down for RTD? Amazing what killing some of the cheese and adding some well written drama to the mix can do for a series... makes me sympathetic to the wasted potential of S1 and S2.

* I hate waiting up for the boys being this tired, but if I go to sleep till they return I'll likely wake up anxious and shock-y and shakey. It's not a pleasant experience and one I'd rather avoid. However, I'm not usually nearly so tired - and if possible I'd like to be functional tomorrow.

Thank You...
If there is one person or more on your friends list who makes your world a better place just because they exist and who you would not have met (in real life or not) without the internet, then post this same sentence in your journal.

Or rather, an amusing and heartwarming rendition of the Ode to Joy:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xpcUxwpOQ_A

This was a great addition to my morning!



Last night I went to the opening of my friend L's exhibition - stephbg this is the same Under Seven Skies artist I mentioned ages back - the exhibition is on at the Fibonacci Centre if you're interested and I believe will be open this weekend.

The opening was incredibly inviting, community based and heartwarming. I was struck by the art again, in particular the 'Love Tree' piece, I just adore this piece. There were many pieces worth gazing on. I was meant to get over to the House of Books and Dogs after, but ended up having dinner with R, who cooked for me, and I got to meet his dogs :) It was quiet and delightful and good to catch up.


Today K and I are going to reacquaint ourselves with each other and have lunch and see a movie :)

Tonight I'm catching up with black_samvara as it's been forever indeed :)

The weekend is shaping up well indeed and I'm slowly pulling my heart into enjoyment of being in Perth again - it's still a little bit in Melbourne :)

Otherwise known as: e_dan and I broke up Sunday afternoon.

What I feel is important for me to say in addition to this is; that it's the right decision in the direction of mutual fulfillment and happiness. We're both obviously disappointed that breaking up ended up as the best decision and way to shift things and move forward - but in saying that, we're both clear that we didn't do anything wrong - but all the right things didn't help.

What is also important and gets it's own paragraph is the fact that we maintain a huge body of love, respect and trust. Resetting things like this enables the possibility of the kind of connection that we've been missing, and I'm looking forward to that.

I am mostly doing well with all of this, though obviously sad and disappointed in some ways. There is a lot of ease and freedom here as well.

I'm fortunate in that since I haven't really broken up with someone since before Kaneda - nothing inside of this kind of context at all, and if it was going to happen with anyone then e_dan has been wonderful. I'm pretty sure this also means that I'm also good in this sphere as well.

Support in general has been wonderful - the poly community here in Victoria is just incredible like that. Lots of support and love, mutual validation and no wrong-making. I'm missing many of you in Perth however, and am looking forward to coming home (but not back to work).

http://maps.google.com.au/maps?oe=utf-8&rls=org.mozilla:en-GB:official&client=firefox-a&um=1&ie=UTF-8&q=10th+muse+melbourne&fb=1&split=1&gl=au&view=text&latlng=50379210896990667

This is where e_dan and I ended up for dinner last night - and oh it was brilliant. I really love this place and would love to go back there, possibly before I leave :)

It's a cool cafe restaurant run by dykes. The food is great, the wine is excellent, the service is fun, friendly and very very good.

Absolutely brilliant night :)


Before we ended up at 10th Muse, I managed to join the RMIT Library (which looks very cool and was very easy to set myself up to research stuff) and then when e_dan joined me after work, we headed up to the University of Melbourne so that I could do the same there - we had fun wandering around looking for the Ballieu Library, and once all that was done, found ourselves in some sort of meeting room with a whiteboard, where e_dan was teaching me how to analyse sign systems - using the code of universities as an example. It was fascinating and we're not quite finished, but it was fascinating and charming.

We also had a discussion that had a specific focus, but specific focus required a huge background of information that is now immortalised on a napkin in green ink, that loosely tells about the history of people and their belief systems. It was amazing and I'm boggled by the timeframes - I'd tell you more but you'd need to see the napkin to really appreciate it :)

Also managed to articulate my position on marriage successfully, and in doing so appreciated new clarity yet again on the subject. In short, it's not unlike e_dan's (nor exactly alike either) but in that critical place where you have choice, I've chosen to engage, and engage on my terms (which I will either succeed or fail in) whereas, I could choose to not engage with it.

Also, I have discovered that I don't particularly like cryptic crosswords, I keep wanting the whole clue to make sense and as I understand this, it really doesn't, or only does if the writer of the crossword is also making a joke. :P

Tonight e_dan and I head off to Bendigo which will be just brilliant. I can't wait!

Hope all of you at the Natcon are having fun :)

P.S. It really was easier to wait and go to Lush in Melbourne than try to get to the Perth store. Stupid.

Mobile broadband for the win, very happy with Virgin so far. Probably swapping my phone over :)


At airport, have consumed passable glass of wine, will be boarding momentarily :)

Oh look, there's my boarding call :)


I can't wait to hang out with my loves in Melbourne - will be fantabulous!

Weekend away looks to be rather relaxing and decadent - Calli, think Fairbridge x 10 or so is the impression I get.

Cannot wait for MS snuggles at 1am and e_dan snuggles at about 2am. Absolutely brilliant.

Okay, must go, boarding and flying and all that :)

Enjoy the Natcon my lovelies - i expect lots of con reports to live vicariously through! Also you should tell Calli to sms me or ask for my number to sms me - that would be awesome :)

*bounces*

Also, love is K waking up early in the cold this morning to help me with my suitcase to the bus :) He also came into the city to have lunch with me :)

That you love someone so much, that their sleepy murmurs make you teary.

I go to bed smiling.

Tomorrow I tackle more semiotics, and my essay plan.

* Work happened and I was productive.

* Boss happened and I am seething resentment.

* 1 more Tamora Pierce book left. Have read most of the available books in the past 2-3 weeks.

* Loving and confronting and awesome conversation with e_dan today. The ideal model is not ideal though the un-ideal (see that joke I almost made there?) model has yet to present itself. Can't wait to be over there in June, have missed just being in his company irrespective of anything else.

* Left laptop either on a bus or in a building. Cannot ascertain which till tomorrow morning. Data is mostly retrievable, or non essential. Machine is less easy to figure out - I can't afford to replace the thing. I also can't afford not to have one with uni atm, not to mention there's the whole bit where it's my only machine. I'm using K's tonight. I want my laptop back. I am thinking strongly and positively that when I make phone calls tomorrow, someone useful will have picked it up and will have handed it in and that I will be able to arrange to pick it up tomorrow.

*fingers crossed*

* Did well in assisting shift tonight, was very effective in just getting past the stuff that was hard, and overwhelming and upsetting.

* Am working up to a leap of faith. Not sure what this is going to look like yet but JY was very inspiring at me tonight. I am almost convinced and enrolled that I can completely make this work.

* I badly want a cuddle from someone I'm really close to. This is not person specific but intimacy level specific.

Something about a friend's wedding really hit me today.

I am incredibly moved.

Yet, I'm not willing to elaborate at this point.

The week has progressively improved.


I giggled, was silly and witty and intelligent and loving and cuddly and organised at various intervals - sometimes in a random combination of these.

I also used familiar made up words, new ones, and waxed happily about the look and feel of my benevolent dictatorship :P

RobM has kindly offered to be my 'D' as head of Research and Development :P with flinthart as my Evil Laugh - how can I go wrong? Simply a matter of time I say.

I fell in love tonight, mostly with who I am. It feels good to feel so much more connected to myself, and not nearly so mystified :)

Also, I had moments of enjoying being in love with the loves I share my life with, kae_dash, e_dan and MS, not forgetting aescapulius or ascetic_hedony :)

It is bedtime, and I start the weekend smiling.